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During Christmas season, it is customary for most of us to hear many messages about "the joy of giving." There's a lot of sense in that. In a world where materialism is encouraged every day, giving to others can be difficult. It's made much moreso difficult when we don't have a lot to give or a lot of money to buy gifts. So, we hear each season about giving, and we hear about the message in the gospel of how God gave to us.
Less often heard is the idea that receiving might also be difficult. We think to ourselves, "Who wouldn't want free stuff!!?!", and all thought of a difficulty in receiving goes flying out the window.
The truth is though, that, when we have need, there is a nagging problem of pride. You see, if I don't have money to pay rent, and someone else gives me that money, I am most certainly grateful to have it because I can pay rent. Underneath it though, is the shame that I didn't have that money to begin with. I would feel like I'm not working hard enough or doing enough to make ends meet on my own. My pride is sorely wounded.
In a world where we cry out for justice every day, for ourselves, those around us, and those far far away. Our hearts are accustomed to demanding a balancing of our debts. I think that that need is instilled in us by our creator. The Law further ratifies this instinctive need. In order for us to have peace and acceptance with ourselves, there is a balance to be met. Acknowledging the reality of our inability to pay our debts takes a heavy toll on our hearts. There is no inherent ability to overcome our obstacles.
The gift of Christ that God gave us, which we celebrate each Christmas, is the same kind of gift as the money to pay rent. Freely given, Christ ultimately paid the price to meet a need we could not pay for ourselves. Without Him, the debt is too great and we will perish, but, by accepting Him, we acknowledge that we are incapable of surmounting that debt. Our pride is sorely wounded.
I realized recently that I was struggling with this issue. Not as much the issue of Christ ransoming me, but with the more practical issue of my pride when I can't make the ends meet. Being married now, it is even easier to fall into the pit of despairing over one's ability to pay bills, food, etc. Every once in awhile, when a friend wants us to go out and eat, we will find ourselves unable to afford it. Yet, our friend will insist to the point that he pays.
I find myself oh so grateful for the food, and yet feeling a little wounded. It doesn't seem logical. In a sense, it's not logical. Yet there is a real and driving reason behind that wounded feeling: a wounded pride.
So, as we've come into this Christmas season, I find myself trying to learn the task of receiving. That is to learn the importance of swallowing that pride, and carrying on. God's solution for our debt of sin was not a solution in which we can take any pride in ourselves. When we celebrate Christ's birthday, we should remember not only that He was/is giving, but that we also are
receiving. And let's not let our own sense of pride stand in the way.
The eyes of the arrogant will be humbled and human pride brought low; the LORD alone will be exalted in that day.
- Isaiah 2:11
The arrogance of all people will be brought low and human pride humbled; the LORD alone will be exalted in that day,
- Isaiah 2:17
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
- Proverbs 11:2
Clap your hands, all you nations;
shout to God with cries of joy.
For the LORD Most High is awesome,
the great King over all the earth.
He subdued nations under us,
peoples under our feet.
He chose our inheritance for us,
the pride of Jacob, whom he loved.
God has ascended amid shouts of joy,
the LORD amid the sounding of trumpets.
Sing praises to God, sing praises;
sing praises to our King, sing praises.
For God is the King of all the earth;
sing to him a psalm of praise.
God reigns over the nations;
God is seated on his holy throne.
The nobles of the nations assemble
as the people of the God of Abraham,
for the kings of the earth belong to God;
he is greatly exalted.
- Psalm 47