All Hallows Eve

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I'm about to go to bed. I need only to feed my cat first (who is being surprisingly patient (this is very scary and abnormal behavior for Rajah!)), and then I will lay here and watch a little bit of Sunrise Earth (which I have recorded in the past) before I go to sleep. I've got the "Alaska: Katmai Bears" episode on. This is the same episode that I woke up and watched one morning many months ago when I had first started my blog. It's the same episode that Rajah went crazy over (There's a picture of that on here from way back then). I recorded it on a repeat, and it is probably my favorite of the few Sunrise Earth's that I have ben able to see. If I could have my projector turn on automatically at a time of my choosing, I would have it be my alarm clock each and every morning. This show is that cool.

We had a small gathering tonight at Grant and Angela's house instead of 63. It was a good opportunity to sit around and fellowship a little bit. There was apparently chili, but I missed out on it because I was late. lol.

It's almost no longer Halloween, and I really ranted more yesterday about it than today. So, I pray that no little children got hurt running between the yards and across the streets. It's dangerous to be a child or driver tonight.

Good night everyone.

Halloween is one of the four major Sabbats celebrated by the modern Witch, and it is by far the most popular and important of the eight that are observed. . . Witches regard Halloween as their New Year’s Eve, celebrating it with ... rituals..."

- Dunwich, Gerina. The Pagan Book of Halloween, p. 120 (courtesy of Wikipedia's article on "Halloween"

It's that time of year...

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My bible study group said that I should rant about this online. I said I wouldn't. But, now, I'm sitting here staring at the screen, wondering what to write about, and I think I might just do it. So, here it is...

Two Sundays ago, Dr. Bingham spoke at church about Noah's ark (Genesis 6, 7, & 8) and used it as a backdrop to talk about God's patience. I wasn't paying a huge amount of attention (this happens a lot due to my ADD...my brain just wanders and I can't bring it back even when I want to. Sometimes, it even wanders for awhile afterwards while I'm doing other things. It makes conversation difficult at these times...) to his sermon, but I guess part of my brain took notes on some of it. I have realized over the years that one hears a lot of the same themes over and over again in church. An important part of his message revolved around recognizing God's patience, both with those who sin and whom we wonder why they haven't been judged yet and, as he then later made clear was important in order to understand the answer to the first one, with us.

Tuesday night, Brian was talking to us about 1 Peter 1, and he talked about how Christ is not just the means for our salvation, but also the means for our vindication. In case you are wondering what the definition of vindication is exactly...

vindication – noun

1. the act of vindicating.
2. the state of being vindicated.
3. defense; excuse; justification: Poverty was a vindication for his thievery.
4. something that vindicates: Subsequent events were her vindication

vindicate – verb

1. to clear, as from an accusation, imputation, suspicion, or the like: to vindicate someone's honor.
2. to afford justification for; justify: Subsequent events vindicated his policy.
3. to uphold or justify by argument or evidence: to vindicate a claim.
4. to assert, maintain, or defend (a right, cause, etc.) against opposition.
5. to claim for oneself or another.
6. Roman and Civil Law. to regain possession, under claim of title of property through legal procedure, or to assert one's right to possession.
7. to get revenge for; avenge.
8. Obsolete. to deliver from; liberate.
9. Obsolete. to punish

I guess the point is that not only is Christ the means of salvation for those who believe in Him, but he is also the one who will excercise judgement upon his return. The two topics, while being spoken about at different times by different people, are, in my opinion, connected. The reality is that Christ is coming and that, when he returns, he will save those who believe in him and all others will (no ifs, ands or buts) perish. We may wonder sometimes why people seem to get away with horrible things and how God can allow it to be. But, He is allowing us all the opportunity to come to him. He is having patience with those who are doing these horrible evils just as much as he is having patience with us.

So, onto my rant...

As I was driving home from work today, I found myself noticing a small circle of cloth ghosts strung around a tree as if they were having a "cloth ghost" seance or something. Tomorrow is Halloween, and maybe it shouldn't surprise me to see stuff like this. The thing is though that it really bothered me. How many people put crap like that up in their yards? I've enjoyed the holiday before, and I particularly enjoy dressing up on that day (I love the silliness of it). But, where is the line we need to avoid crossing into actually getting into a pagan celebration? When one is putting up things like this, is one not actually supporting pagan things? Maybe we should ignore Halloween altogether. I don't know if that's good either. I don't mean to sound this judgemental about it. The point is: I was mad about that display. It was so innocent seeming, and yet encouraging of a more or less occultish practice. For a very brief moment there, I found myself wondering "How can God allow these things to happen so rampantly!?"

It was only a minute or so later, as I was trying to remind myself about how great God's grace is that He is so patient with us, that I found myself getting angry at some guy for tailgating so close behind me. I hate tailgating. I don't mean the football party kind. I mean the kind where, as you're driving along, some idiot is hovering about 3 feet off the rear bumper of your car. I generally treat this by just barely "slamming" my brakes. In other words, I slow down sharply and make sure they have a good dose of my brake lights. I do this with my eyes on the mirror and just long enough that I see them begin to pull up short. Then I know I have their attention. (I try to be pretty careful) Of course, I then speed up really quickly to put a little bit of distance between us to see if they get the point. Usually, they do. the thing is though: This makes me really freaking mad. For me, it is as bad as if someone cuts me off. As least then, they are being blatant in their stupidity! Here, it is so often out of ignorance. Tailgating is so dangerous and stupid!

It was about at this point that I began to recall and think about Dr. Bingham's message a couple of Sundays ago and Brian's topic last Tuesday night. How amazing is the patience of God!! How beautiful is his grace!! That I am saved through the blood of His only begotten son. That I who deserves death and justice am protected from His just wrath by that blood. That is so cool.

Equally cool though, even though it's not as apparent to all of us all the time, is the fact that He has had the patience to let me come this far so that I can come to Him and be saved. That He has waited for me to realize my need for His grace. That same patience is also why He waits for them, too. For the idiots who tailgate as well as the ones who put cloth ghosts around a tree. It's not just them though, it's also me when I am so angry that I slam on my brakes or find myself wishing for a moment (in a total act of hypocrisy) that God would strike down those people with the cloth ghosts. I should not be thinking and acting that way any more than they should. It's so cool that he has such patience with us. I don't know how to say it in any other way.



Before I go...

I read this article a few minutes ago. It stuck out to me because it reminds me so much of my Dad. He's been doing this for at least 10 years or so. Most likely even more. Does that mean he started a trend???

Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear. For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.

1 Peter 1:17-21

48 Days (and counting...)

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Today was a pretty darn good day. There was a good service this morning, and a loooonnnnngggg phone conversation this afternoon. Tonight, the Cowboys won, and I got to watch a pretty interesting program in HD on Discovery Channel HD about the Eiffel Tower. It was fascinating. Have I ever mentioned that I love HD programming? There's not enough of it, but when there is some, it is great just to watch. I think that, in the next 10-20 years, there will be conversation about two major changes in TV broadcasting history pertaining to how it is broadcast.

1.) The switch to color.

2.) The switch to High Definition.

I know we're only just in the early stages of the second one, but I think this is one we will have to tell our grandchildren about. They won't believe that we watched anything in that dreadful blurry vision we now know as Standard Definition TV. Imagine their shock with color TV shows as well. They may not have the stomach to ever learn the appreciation of I Love Lucy just because they are so spoiled by the richness we have available to us on TV today and in the future also! How much more shocking would it be to show them a silent picture, and try to explain the difference between silent film and talkies. It's a good thing that we have Singin' in the Rain to help us with that one, eh?

[after the demonstration of a talking picture]
R.F. Simpson: What do you think of it, Dexter?
Rosco: It'll never amount to a thing.
Cosmo Brown: That's what they said about the horseless carriage.

- Singin' in the Rain (1952)

A Low Volume

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63 the last couple of weeks has looked to me a lot like a ghost town. It aches me. Where did everybody go? I mean, seriously people! I go to Germany for 3 1/2 weeks, and, when I come back, everyone's gone! What's up with that? (It's sad to admit it, but I know there's no connection... Right?)

After we sang some worship tunes tonight (seriously, where else would one get the intimate setting and awesome talent of our guys? Tonight we had Ryan and Stu and Danny (not a normal Dan I talk about!). Dan's gotten a lot better at singing over the last few months. And, he's getting better all time. Ryan and Stu are both awesome, too.), we sat around in a circle and had a little bible study because there are so few of us. I'm not complaining. I think 63 is the kind of ministry that must keep going, even when the chairs are empty. Ultimately, it is GOD who provides the bodies. So, I guess my question here is really to Him: "Lord, where is everyone?" In the meantime, I am praying and I know that others are, too that God will strengthen the ministry here and allow it and us who are there in it to reach out to more people and, as Christ says it:

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.

Matthew 28:19-20

We had a little bit of an interesting discussion though tonight. Brian was talking to us about the following passage:

Concerning this salvation, the prophets, who spoke of the grace that was to come to you, searched intently and with the greatest care, 11trying to find out the time and circumstances to which the Spirit of Christ in them was pointing when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the glories that would follow. It was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves but you, when they spoke of the things that have now been told you by those who have preached the gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Even angels long to look into these things.
Be Holy

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."

Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear. For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.

1 Peter 1:10-21

It was an interesting conversation because, early on it it, Brian started talking about how Christ is our vindication, and then raised the question: When you share the gospel with somebody, what do you share? Do you just talk about Christ's death for our sins, how we have salvation through His blood, and about the victory demonstrated in his resurrection? Or, do you also talk about how, in the end, Christ is going to come back and excercise God's righteous wrath on all who have rejected Him?

It started a little bit of discussion going back and forth about how people present the gospel to non-believers. As Brian put it: The gospel, to the non-believer, is offensive. Therefore, the question running around the circle was about how much emphasis different people think we should put on talking about God's wrath and coming judgement. People often shy away from that because it really is offensive to someone who does not believe it. A lot of people seem to think that it is dangerous to stress that part because it tends to cause people to walk away. I think it is equally dangerous to leave it out though, and that seemed to be Brian's standpoint as well. Although, I doubt I would make as much effort as he seems to. People don't like being judged, and that's basically what it is. It's a reminder that each and every one of us will be judged.

Praise be to the Lord that He sent His son to die on that cross in my place!!!

It was making me think though about my own efforts in ministering to others. I don't pass out tracks to people like my Dad does. I don't confront people with the message of the gospel out of the blue. I don't constantly remind a non-believer of the message. I honestly don't feel comfortable doing that. But, I do fight not to hide it also. I do fight not to let it go undefended. I am working on living my life more and more in a way that testifies to the power of God's Holy Spirit inside of me. I do work at places the credit for the victories in my life on Him. I think that is the way I share the message. I was in the middle of thinking about this when Dan said something similar (I think it was something similar) about how we can alternatively share. Maybe God has a plan to prepare me to be able to share in that confrontational wayu as well. I will try not to run away from it! I only know that, as far as I am concerned: I want to work everyday to be more and more His servant, to give Him the glory (because He deserves it!) for every success and victory, to pray and, through prayer, deepen my relationship with Him, and, ultimately, I hope to serve Him in some purposeful way here on this Earth before He decides to bring me Home. I don't want to waste this time that He has given me.

Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.

- C.S. Lewis

You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations — these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit — immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.

- C.S. Lewis - The Weight of Glory

Now is our chance to choose the right side. God is holding back to give us that chance. It won't last forever. We must take it or leave it.

- C.S. Lewis - Mere Christianity

The greatest source of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips but deny Him by their lifestyles. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.

- DC Talk

*** Update : Faith Powered Transmission ***

+¬ Click here to read the update...

At about 1:45 AM, I took the suburban on a test drive. I can remember when we bought the last transmission that I stated that there was a "slowness" to change gears. I remember that my truck never quite launched the way it had before.

Well, now it does again!

This new transmission is working great. I love it. And, the resumption of power to my truck, while unexpected, is equally welcomed.

Praise be to the Lord!

"SCRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeee!!!!!"

- My Suburban's wheels (as we pulled away from a stop sign a few minutes ago...)

Faith Powered Transmission

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Come darkness tonight, and we were still working on my suburban. Actually, we still are, but now we are a lot closer to being done. We just finished adjusting the "linker assembly" to the new transmission. I can now sort of tell what gear selection I'm in. One of the problems with getting a transmission from a junkyard is that it may or may not exactly match the year model configuration of my vehicle. I wonder if I would of had this problem with a store bought re-built transmission. Would they have matched up the year more accurately than a junkyard? At a junkyard, all they care about is the generic transmission model (R700 btw). Well, after my dad put part of my old linker assembly through a (as he referred to it) "super-vice", the gears mostly select correctly now. That's good. I'm glad that I can at least tell that the 1st gear selection is somewhere between 1 and 2 positions on my sliding guage.
That's my dad. That's a few hours ago when we were about 2 hours into the "putting the "new" transmission into the car" phase. It involved a collection of "jacks".
You can see them here.

As I am typing this, my dad is finishing up some stuff under the car. There's really know way of knowing if this transmission will actually work. There's a degree of "unreliability" when installing junkyard components. Sometime after buying it and beginning to put it in, I looked at the reciept and noticed the "transmissions not installed by certified personal instantly VOID warranty" on it. Doh! That's ok though. We're trusting in God here. He will make this transmission work. (Yes, I am writing this purely on faith!!!)

It's cold out here. I just checked the weather, and it's supposedly 48F degrees. (That's 8C, btw) Accuweather's "Realfeel" claims 38F and 3C though. Too frakkin' cold for Texas. It's not supposed to get this cold until at least December, and, then, only for a day or two! Of course, it's also windy, and that makes it even worse. I'm hiding inside the car while my dad does all the tough stuff. (I didn't bring more than an old sweatshirt. He lives here, and has his warm cloths close at hand!) It's cold even in here though.

Enough complaining though, right? I'm all too good at that!

One last closeup of the new transmission.

Guten Morgen everyone!

“Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative.”

- Oscar Wilde

“Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.”

- Mark Twain

Quality TV (on the Sci-fi channel?)

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*Note: I changed the title of this post because the previous one sucked

Ok, so, tomorrow morning, my dad and I are scheduled to remove the transmission from my truck. Hopefully, we will find a replacement at a nearby junkyard by the afternoon because then, if I can afford it, we will go and buy one. I'm praying about it, and you can, too!

I just watched another episode of Battlestar Galactica. That was hard. It was probably the single best episode I've seen yet. My heart is hurting after it. I have never seen a TV show that filled me with that much emotion, that made me feel so deeply for the characters and what they are going through. It was krass.

Every commercial break though, I was momentarily pulled out of it. Unfortunatly, the stupid Sci-Fi channel always has the worst commercials. This is even more abnormally true now because it's October. Hence: Halloween. They must of shown commercials for more than 10 (literally!!) different horror movies. I won't be watching any of them. In fact, it was so bad that, if it had not been Battlestar Galactica that I was watching, I would of turned it off and just watched whatever program it would of been later on my MythTV. (I was recording it anyways) I guess I should be happy that there's only one hour of TV per week worth watching on the Sci-Fi channel right now. Stargate is in its offseason.

My heart is still reeling from that episode of Battlestar Galactica. I can't go to sleep now. Oh how I wish I could of watched that with someone...

I read a really cool verse this morning. It was so encouraging to me. It reminded me of something that I forget sometimes...

He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a man, that he should change his mind."

1 Samuel 15:29

"Heavenly Father, help me please have faith. And, when I don't have enough, please forgive me!"

A Prayer Request...

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SO.....

I was pulling out of the parking lot from my apartment this morning, and I heard a loud POP! The was immediately followed by a kind of wheezing sound coming from somewhere in the vicinity of my transmission and a loss of acceleration. I coasted to a nearby lot where I was able to leave my car for the afternoon, but tonight we have to tow it to my parents. This is pretty bad because it seems that my transmission has gotten up and run off on me. Maybe I would be better off describing it as a transmission suicide because of the loud noise I heard when it happened. There were no symptoms to cause me to think this might happen soon. I don't think there was any neglect on my part. (removing the blame from myself is only mildy comforting, mind you, when my truck no longer goes)

So, I'm hoping it's not an actual transmission suicide. I had that happen once before, a few years ago, and it is really expensive to buy a new transmission. To give you an idea: A rebuilt transmission for my truck is around $1,100!!! Of course, that does not include labor. We went to a junkyard before, and there it was only around $300-$400. Obviously one does not have a whole lot of quality there, and this is perhaps evident when one considers the fate of my transmission this morning.

I'm hoping that our (mine and my dad's) fears are misplaced and that it turns out to be something small that we can fix. I'm not just hoping, I'm praying, too! If you feel up to it, I would appreciate any and all prayers about this. There's a cool passage that my Musankisha and I read this morning in 1 Samuel:

Perhaps the LORD will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the LORD from saving, whether by many or by few."

1 Samuel 14:6b

It's encouraging to read that passage. It's comforting to realize that the one who is called "Jehovah-Jireh" does not have that name for nothing.

One day Jonathan son of Saul said to the young man bearing his armor, "Come, let's go over to the Philistine outpost on the other side." But he did not tell his father.

Saul was staying on the outskirts of Gibeah under a pomegranate tree in Migron. With him were about six hundred men, among whom was Ahijah, who was wearing an ephod. He was a son of Ichabod's brother Ahitub son of Phinehas, the son of Eli, the LORD's priest in Shiloh. No one was aware that Jonathan had left.

On each side of the pass that Jonathan intended to cross to reach the Philistine outpost was a cliff; one was called Bozez, and the other Seneh. One cliff stood to the north toward Micmash, the other to the south toward Geba.

Jonathan said to his young armor-bearer, "Come, let's go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised fellows. Perhaps the LORD will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the LORD from saving, whether by many or by few."

"Do all that you have in mind," his armor-bearer said. "Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul."

Jonathan said, "Come, then; we will cross over toward the men and let them see us. If they say to us, 'Wait there until we come to you,' we will stay where we are and not go up to them. But if they say, 'Come up to us,' we will climb up, because that will be our sign that the LORD has given them into our hands."

So both of them showed themselves to the Philistine outpost. "Look!" said the Philistines. "The Hebrews are crawling out of the holes they were hiding in." The men of the outpost shouted to Jonathan and his armor-bearer, "Come up to us and we'll teach you a lesson."
So Jonathan said to his armor-bearer, "Climb up after me; the LORD has given them into the hand of Israel."

Jonathan climbed up, using his hands and feet, with his armor-bearer right behind him. The Philistines fell before Jonathan, and his armor-bearer followed and killed behind him. In that first attack Jonathan and his armor-bearer killed some twenty men in an area of about half an acre.
Israel Routs the Philistines

Then panic struck the whole army—those in the camp and field, and those in the outposts and raiding parties—and the ground shook. It was a panic sent by God.

1 Samuel 14:1-15

That quailing inner voice...

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I'm pretty vocal about my self-doubts at times. I dwell on them a lot sometimes, too. Too much. Many who know me can testify well to this. I'm not sure, but I think this is probably common (excepting, maybe, the vocal part) to many Christians.

As I'm reading through That Hideous Strength with my Musankisha, I came across this passage which reminds me so much of the endless cycle of self-doubt that I so often find myself feeling and even talking about...

Dr. Dimble drove out to St. Anne's dissatisfied with himself, haunted with the suspicion that if he had been wiser, or more perfectly in charity with this very miserable young man, he might have done something for him. ”Did I give way to my temper? Was I self righteous? Did I tell him as much as I dared?" he thought. Then came the deeper self distrust that was habitual with him. ”Did you fail to make things clear because you really wanted not to? Just wanted to hurt and humiliate? To enjoy your own self righteousness? Is there a whole Belbury inside you, too?" The sadness that came over him had no novelty in it. ”And thus," he quoted from Brother Lawrence, ”Thus I shall always do, whenever You leave me to myself."

- That Hideous Strength - C.S. Lewis

A Life of Dull

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Since I got back, it seems like I haven't been doing a whole lot at all. The best times of the day are when I talk to my Musankisha on the phone. She's off on the tropical isle of Tenerife while I'm here in Dallas. Some postcards from her have arrived. I'm so jealous.

In Dallas, it is so dull. There's work, and, oh ya, more work. I've been waking up every morning around 6 AM, and arriving at work around 10. These are almost normal hours!! What's wrong with me!?!? Of course, I feel really lopsided when I'm talking to my Musankisha, and, after telling me about her exciting day, she asks me, "So, how was your day?" I know she's not expecting an exciting answer, but I feel so suddenly dull. What can I say that can compete with that? "Oh, I rewrote this bit of code here, and had to write this other bit of code for this client over there..."? That doesn't really sound to good on a normal basis, let alone when it comes after, "Oh, we went out on a boat out to a lagoon where we saw whales and went swimming in crystal blue water!" (OK, so I added the part about the "crystal blue water", but, hey, I have postcards. They show a lot of it...)

This is not a rant about me feeling the need to compare adventures and lives here. That's not my purpose at all. I'm so glad she is having a great time, and I love hearing about it. This is just a rant about how boring and dull my life suddenly seems in general ever since I got back from Germany. All of my friends here have their own little lives now. I spend a lot of time at home, alone except for Rajah. Going out means spending money, and I can't do that. Especially now since I'm getting married soon! People talk sometimes about fearing getting married and "settling down". They worry about not seeing their friends so much anymore. Heck, I am looking forward to the company!

I don't want to sound so pathetic. I feel a lot like I'm in a state of limbo, hovering between one phase of life and another. The times of hanging out with my friends late everynight seems to be, unfortunatly, winding down. I guess that's what happens when people start having families and relationships and such. There's not so much time left for hanging out and watching Sportscenter reruns for hours and hours after a hockey or football game. I also can't do another thing I used to do: Go spend lots of money and time hanging out at the bar. At least there's 63 on Tuesday nights, right? There's also, come to think of it, bible study on Monday nights. Those nights have become the highlights of my week. It's all crazy.

The words "give yourself to us" were ill chosen. The very muscles of Jane's body stiffened a little: if the speaker had been anyone who attracted her less than Camilla she would have become like stone to any further appeal. Denniston laid a hand on his wife's arm.

"You must see it from Mrs. Studdock's point of view, dear," he said. "You forget she knows practically nothing at all about us. And that is the real difficulty. We can't tell her much until she has joined. We are, in fact, asking her to take a leap in the dark." He turned to Jane with a slightly quizzical smile on his face which was, nevertheless, grave. "It is like that," he said, "like getting married, or going into the Navy as a boy, or becoming a monk, or trying a new thing to eat. You can't know what it's like until you take the plunge

- That Hideous Strength - C.S. Lewis

"Oh, Lord, forgive me please if I am living with my eyes so often closed!"

A Turning Point...

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While in Germany, my Musankisha and myself sat down and watched Fiddler on the Roof together. She had never seen it before, and she loved it. At her request, I am posting the following really cool scene:

[Fyedka runs off some boys who are harrassing Chava. Then, he starts following her...]

Chava - "Is there something you want?"

Fyedka - "Yes. I'd like to talk to you."

Chava - "I'd rather not"

Fyedka - "I've often noticed you at the booksellers. Not many girls in this village like to read. Would you like to borrow this book? It's very good."

Chava - "No. Thank you."

Fyedka - "Why? Because I'm not jewish? You feel about me the way they feel about you? I didn't think you would. And, what do you know about me, eh? Let me tell you about myself. I'm a pleasant fellow. Charming, honest, ambitious, quite brite, and very modest."

[Both laugh]

Fyedka - "Go ahead. Take the book. And, after you return it, I'll ask you how you like it, and we can talk about it for awhile. Then we can talk about life, how we feel about things. Here..."

[Chava pauses, and then takes the book]

Chava - "Thank you"

Fyedka - "Good day, Chava"

Chava - "Good day.."

Fyedka - "...Fyedka"

Chava - "Fyedka."

- excerpt from Fiddler on the Roof

Pandora

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I recently ran across a Penny-Arcade article that mentioned an internet music radio thing called "Pandora". It's pretty cool. I'm having fun putting several different artists together on one station. The station I've currently got has Third Day, U2, The O.C. Supertones, Los Lonely Boys, Stevie Ray Vaughn, B.B. King, Johnny Cash, TobyMac, D.C. Talk, Kutless, 12 Stones, Caedmon's Call, Sixpence None the Richer, Audio Adrenaline, Jars of Clay, Steve Taylor, Newsboys, and Rich Mullines. This is an interesting combination.

I heartily encourage you to try it yourself. It's pretty freakin' cool.

Which side are we on? We're on the side of the demons, chief. We're evil men in the garden of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spread devestation and destruction wherever we go.

- Colonel Saul Tigh - Battlestar Galactica (Season 3 opener)

An Evening With Arnold

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Tonight, Daniel and I sat down with The Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger. We had a good time watching a couple of his older movies: Total Recall and True Lies. As Daniel phrases it, Total Recall is "a fantastic movie." However, to be certain, True Lies is "a fantastic movie" in an entirely different sense. I guess it's up to you to decide which sense he meant for which movie, but, all in all, it was a lot of fun. There's something about Arnold Schwarzenegger that is so absurd it's funny. Especially every time in True Lies where he would "squint" his eyes in anger. The best of those moments is when he's following the terrorist guy up the elevators in the hotel, they are staring at each other through the glass, and the terrorist guy's response is a look of total fear. He has the Arnold coming after him!

Daniel's been doing this whole weight loss thing recently. He apparently started it while I was in Germany. This means that he has been counting calories. It's a little frightening, too. He was explaining why he gets one kind of food and not another tonight, and also how many calories each had. I knew McDonalds was bad, but now I may never be able to eat there again!!

Interesting food fact (and I happen to really like this one): Mustard has zero calories.

Did you know that? I didn't. That's pretty cool though because I like mustard a lot. I'm working on what I eat a little bit myself. There are currently apples and bananas in my fridge! I've always liked both, but I never stocked any until now. I'm trying to encourage myself to snack on these kinds of things. It's surprising though how bad some of my favorite things are. For example: cheese. I love sharp chedder cheese, and I also enjoy American cheese on many a sandwhich. But, apparently, these are high in calories. Krass! That's annoying. I confess: I will never be able to eat so healthy as some. I'm just thinking now about trying to eat less like a pig. lol.

I've got marriage on my mind a lot lately. That's probably not a surprise to anyone since I'm recently engaged. I've been wanting to get married all my life, and now I'm engaged to the woman I am absolutely certain is the one God has always had in store for me. I'm not at all worried about the question of "who", but I am a little worried about the question of "how". In other words, how this wedding is going to happen, etc. In truth, her and I both are seeing the difficulties ahead, and we're both praying about them. We truly need God's help in everyway. this brings me to a random thought...

Have you ever seen a public concert or, really, any kind of public event where everything is sponsored? Did you notice how often they would acknowledge their sponsors everytime they came to the microphone or how many banners they would hang up? Maybe they would give away free stuff, but every single item was, I'll guarantee you, labeled with the name of the donating company. They give so much glory and thanks to those companies that make those events possible, and there's not a reason to think they shouldn't. (Even if it can be annoying sometimes) My thought though is about this: Shouldn't we give the glory for all the things God does in our life as openly as this? Maybe we do in some ways, sometimes. My point is not to question whether or not we do or whether or not we do enough (although, truthfully, we can never give Him enough glory for all He has, is, and will do). My desire here is simply to point out the similarities because I want you to think about it the next time you see all the beer names on a wall in a bar or all the advertisements in the background during a baseball game. The next time you see FOX pausing after a commercial break to say, "this [such and such] brought to you by...", remember that the corporations are giving glory and thanks to these companies. In a very real sense, we can possibly learn a little bit about the practical ways in which we can give God glory and thanks when we see these "spots".

Just a thought...

"Impossible! Once the reaction starts, it'll spread to all the turbinium in the planet. Mars will go into global meltdown. That's why the aliens never turned it on."

- Vilos Cohaagen - Total Recall

Coming back to 63

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Tonight at 63, there was a guest speaker named Mike. With my ADD, I didn't entirely follow all of what he was saying, but I do remember that he was basing his sermon out of a passage from Colossians.

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

Colossians 2:6-7

He was talking about the importance of continuing to live in Christ. It made me think of the struggle everyday that I seem to be feeling. This struggle of knowing that God has brought my Musankisha and I together, and yet struggling with some of the simple everyday obstacles that can become so faith threatening because we are so far apart. It's not easy sometimes, although it really should be. We should just be able to say, "We trust you, Lord", and then just throw all these problems to Him and not worry about them.

Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 9:10

Instead, we worry about them anyways, and spend a lot of time trying to solve them ourselves. In the end, He does not need us to "play any part at all" in achieving His will. After all, He was the one who said "Let there be light" and then there was light.

And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.

Genesis 1:3

I think we sometimes get confused when we try to understand His will in light of our own will. We know what we want, and then we want to understand why He isn't doing it for us even though we ask Him.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

Romans 8:26-27

I think the reason for our unanswered prayers is that they are not the will of God. Maybe we don't understand why they're not His will, but our lack of understanding doesn't change what is or is not His will. He loves us, and desires to richly bless us.

For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him,

Romans 10:12

These are things that have been hanging around in my head for a long time. At Chick-Fil-A after 63, there was at least one guy expressing His frustration over the way in which God has not provided for Him a wife. In fact, he was even angry over the way in which God has provided my Musankisha to me in our engagement and maybe even a little bit about how some of the other, younger, people at the table were already married and talking about kids. I can understand that pain because I used to feel the exact same way. I used to feel so angry about these things.

In the course of the last few years though, I have spent a lot of time trying to understand why God had not provided me with a wife. I was so lonely. I eventually realized that it was just not His will for me to have one yet. It was tough to accept that other people would not have to wait as long as I was having to. When God brought my Musankisha into my life, it was not immediately after realizing any of this either. It was much later, at a time of His choosing.

It was so hard for me to accept that He did not want what I wanted, and that was, maybe, the chief source of so much of my pain over these past many many years. Maybe I was angry with God because He was not doing what I thought He should do for me.

We've been talking in church about the importance of making sure that we are not worshipping a "make-believe" God and just calling Him Jesus. We've been talking about the importance of knowing who He is and what traits are part of or not part of His character. If one does not pay attention to this, then one is not really worshipping or following Him. Then one is pushing ones own opinion onto God. I think it's a challenge for a lot of people. A good example might be the issue of judgement and war. In the old testament, God orders the killing of many peoples. He executes righteous judgement on thousands and thousands of people. In our modern society, where we preach the sanctity of life, it's really hard for us to accept that side of God. The thing is, how can we possibly understand the awesome truth of his mercy if we can not understand the righteous judgement and destruction that we are being saved from by it. And, how much more awesome then is His grace?

A lot of people would say that it's not fair. Maybe it seems that way to us now. I believe that, in the end, it will all be perfectly fair to such a degree that no one will be able to argue it. But, now, there are still a lot of questions in our minds, and we just have to trust Him. We just have to accept His will, and follow it. Even if we don't know why.

And the LORD said, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.

Exodus 33:19

Home Sweet Home?

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I am, by the way, back here in Big D. It's kind of nice to be home, but I miss my Musankisha terribly. It seems like an eternity until we see each other again in December. Everytime that I see something here now, I find myself thinking about what it would be like to be able to show it to her. The first moment of this was even before I touched the ground. This is what I saw (except it was grander in person):


Dallas from the air

You can actually see downtown Dallas in that picture. I could see where my apartment was and where my parent's house is when I was looking out that windows. It was pretty cool.


The plane I was on from Toronto to Dallas and from which I took the picture of Dallas (from the gate at Toronto)

It was good to see my cat again. It's been kind of nice being able to tell some of my friends about how my Musankisha and I are now engaged. My brother, who was watching over my apartment while I was gone, suprised me by totally scrubbing the kitchen and bathroom into a spotlessness that stunned me. (It was pretty bad before. lol)

It's weird noticing how different everything is over here from over there in Germany. It's total krass. I can't wait until she comes in December. I walked into Target yesterday to buy some groceries, and found myself having to keep myself from reaching for a backpack to bag my groceries with. They don't bag what you buy over in Germany. You're kind of expected to carry a backpack with you or something. Here, they just wouldn't let you into the stores with such a bag, let alone require you to bag stuff yourself. I got yelled at in German one time by the clerk at a grocery store there about this matter. I was waiting for her to finish ringing up everything, and she started yelling about me not moving everything off of the baggage counter (insanely small in Germany) to somewhere out of the way. I had to race to make up for it, and she was not thrilled. lol.

Now though, while we are on other sides of the planet, we in the beginning stages of planning our wedding. As a guy, I find the lack of simplicity involved in this to be revolting. There are all sorts of things to consider: Place, Time, who officiates, the proper VISA, the new rings, the travel plans, places for people to stay, invitations, the honeymoon, the wedding dress, etc., etc., etc. It's a lot of stuff. It's going to be tough also to plan it from so far apart and with a 7 hour time difference!! The amazing thing though is that some of those things (Place, Time, and who officiates) seem to be falling somewhat into place. I keep praying that everything will work out like that. I just find everything hard to believe.

So, feel free to pray for us. We can use every bit of it!!!

I must say as to what I have seen of Texas, it is the garden spot of the world. The best land & best prospects for health I ever saw is here, and I do believe it is a fortune to any man to come here. There is a world of country to settle.

- Davy Crockett - Letter to his children (9 January 1836)

Since you have chosen to elect a man with a timber toe to succeed me, you may all go to hell and I will go to Texas.

- Davy Crockett - Statement on his Congressional defeat (1835)