That quailing inner voice...

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I'm pretty vocal about my self-doubts at times. I dwell on them a lot sometimes, too. Too much. Many who know me can testify well to this. I'm not sure, but I think this is probably common (excepting, maybe, the vocal part) to many Christians.

As I'm reading through That Hideous Strength with my Musankisha, I came across this passage which reminds me so much of the endless cycle of self-doubt that I so often find myself feeling and even talking about...

Dr. Dimble drove out to St. Anne's dissatisfied with himself, haunted with the suspicion that if he had been wiser, or more perfectly in charity with this very miserable young man, he might have done something for him. ”Did I give way to my temper? Was I self righteous? Did I tell him as much as I dared?" he thought. Then came the deeper self distrust that was habitual with him. ”Did you fail to make things clear because you really wanted not to? Just wanted to hurt and humiliate? To enjoy your own self righteousness? Is there a whole Belbury inside you, too?" The sadness that came over him had no novelty in it. ”And thus," he quoted from Brother Lawrence, ”Thus I shall always do, whenever You leave me to myself."

- That Hideous Strength - C.S. Lewis